Thursday, May 31, 2007

From The Inside Out
by Hillsong United
album: United We Stand (2006)

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

New shirts

Friday's game was great for many reasons (those seats are nice!) but mostly because they won! Brooke and I were starting to think that we were cursed; with about 11 more games ahead of us, that would not mean good things for the Sox. However, the curse has been lifted. It could have something to do with the debut of our 2007 shirts. Luckily they were not prophetic as we grabbed the winning run in the bottom of the 9th. We may not have gotten the free hats (curse you Green Line!) but the rain held off until after the game, just another example of how God was smiling on us that night. Random- as Jill and I were getting off the Metra we discovered Todd, a fellow G5Ger who was also at the game, was just one car over. How on earth did we not see each other at Ogilvie?
On Saturday my Grandma was readmitted to the hospital as her condition has backslid again. She started chemo a week early and now we just have to wait and see if she'll bounce back the way she did before. This sucks. The rest of Memorial Day weekend was mostly fun. I karaokeed my heart out Sunday night at Mark's surprise party. It was just the kind of distraction I needed.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Was Desmond trying to be Jesus?
Next week is going to be great!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Car wars

I hate driving behind people that are driving under the speed limit, cutting people off, not using their turn signal, the list goes on. I'm sure you do too. The other day I was on Butterfield trying to get to a friend's party. I wasn't in a particular rush to get there but I would have liked to at least be going 50 (posted speed limit). Apparently the car in front of me thought 35-40 was a better pace. As I was grumbling to myself, I saw the "W" decal from the last presidential election and thought, "Of course this guy would be a Bush supporter!" And then I realized that whenever I'm behind an idiot driver and they have Republican or Cubs parapharnelia on their car, I attribute it to another level of their stupidity. Then I thought about when the idiot driver's car happens to have White Sox bumper stickers instead and realized that I'm much more forgiving. "Oh, a fellow Sox fan! They must be having a bad day or they just didn't realize what the speed limit is." I think this is the real reason why I won't put a Jesus fish or any Christian bumper stickers on (besides their usual cheesy awfulness)- I don't want people to judge my driving and have it reflect badly on Christians. We get enough grief as it is.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

What's your role?

Dr. Bayer has pronounced my Grandma to be his star patient regarding how well she has responded to the chemotherapy. Praise God! Her kidneys are stable and her numbers are looking pretty good overall. Still no word on the prognosis but we are hopeful she'll be with us for quite some time. On Monday Grandma will go to a skilled nursing facility (aka nursing home) for rehab. Once she's stronger she'll go home. In the meantime she'll go to the cancer center for chemo and radiation. She's a determined, faith-filled lady so who's to say she can't beat this?

The other day I was with a few coworkers when one pulled me aside and said, "You still look sad." It wasn't much of an observation and I was taken aback. Aunt Teresa died just 3 weeks ago. Yes, my Grandma is responding well to treatment but she still has terminal cancer. And she expected me to be all sunshine and roses? It's not as if I was acting like a pessimist or sad sap during our meeting. It just blew me away for a few moments until I figured out where her statement was really coming from. She, like many people in my life, needs me to be strong for her. In fact, although I am a good support for my loved ones, unlike most, she expects me to be strong for her. And normally I can do this without a problem. It's not hard to understand why I might not be able to listen to her problems as easily since I think they pale in comparison to what's been going on my life lately. Also most of her problems are her own fault so it is hard to advise someone the same things over and over again, knowing they are not willing to change. Still her words got me thinking about my role in others lives once again and what my expectations are for those around me. It's always easy to say these situations bring out people's true colors or that you find out who your true friends are. It's easy but I think we're lying to ourselves at the same time. Because I know that I have failed my friends in situations where I should have risen to the occasion. I should not be that shocked when human beings act like, well, humans. That's not to say we shouldn't exercise the gift of discernment. I hope that at the same time I can extend the gift of grace.

On another note, who is excited about LOST???? This week's episode was phenomenal- finally a few more answers and of course, a few more questions. All leading to what should be an explosive finale. How on earth will we wait all summer?

I won't comment on the current White Sox situation. They're just breaking my heart and I am struggling to summon my extra reserves of hope. Never fear- we will carry on.