Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Another Confession

I debated over when and how to tell my loyal readers the latest news in my life.  In short, I'm moving to Nashville in less than a month!  The reason why I'm moving is somewhat lengthier. It all started with a book: Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  To say that it was "challenging" is inadequate. Chan wrote that I should consider an area of my life where I was living out in faith, where if God didn't show up, I'd be in big trouble. I was shocked to realize that I couldn't come up with anything. I pray every morning that God would give me strength to do my job but I also know that I am an excellent listener and clinician.  I don't depend on God as heavily as I could or should in my day to day life.  I started praying then about how I could live with more dependence on God and it led me in the direction of Nashville. 

I've been visiting my best friend and her husband there for the past 5 years and every time, it's a little harder to leave.  I've become friends with their friends, fallen in love with their church, and been the best auntie I can be to their 14 month old daughter.  Plus the weather doesn't hurt!  I never thought I would stay in my hometown after finishing grad school but I believe it's where God intended me to be for this period of time, especially when I consider the circumstances behind my great-aunt and then grandma's times on hospice.  I have a nice life here but I've been feeling “stuck” the past couple of years, especially as I've realized hospice social work is no longer the best fit for me.  I shine when it comes to counseling, life review, goal work, and prebereavement support.  I don't like having to do respite placement, long term care planning, and anything related to case management.  I know that the latter are valuable services for families- I've just come to the point where I don't want to be the one doing it anymore.

After a lot of prayer, I've decided to move to Nashville when my lease ends next month.  This is probably the most exciting, terrifying thing I've ever done.  I've been looking for a job for the past few months and am excited to report that I'm in the interview process for a pediatric social work position.  For awhile I thought I would move in the direction of bereavement counseling and that may still be in my future.  However, I've always been interested in working with sick children.  I can hardly believe that I'm still in the running for what may be my dream job!  Because of the timing of my lease, I may end up moving without having a job lined up but that's OK.  It took me a year and a half after grad school before a hospice position opened up- I survived then and I know I'll do just fine now.  It might be nice to take a break!

So what does all this mean for this blog?  Well, I have at least a year's worth of posts I've never had time to write so I plan to continue on as always.  Depending on the position I take, there may still be a palliative component, in which case I will still have a plethora of opinions and stories to share.  I'm also hoping to become a hospice volunteer because I know I could never get out of end-of-life care completely. 

I announced my resignation to staff last week and have started telling patients.  Everyone is sad but excited about this opportunity.  I have a million things I could say about telling patients that I've resigned but since I still have another month to go, I'll save those thoughts for another post. 


SocialWrkr24/7 said...

Congratulations on making a big life decision!! They can be so hard - but so rewarding once they are made! I'm excited to hear what God has in store for you in your new place! Blessings!

luvmypeanut said...

I've been a lurker here on your blog and I admire you and I am so happy for you! I know it's all going to work out! Can't wait to read all about it!